Play a little game with me....

Do you enjoy playing games? Then I have a game for you! But be warned - it's not a whole lot of fun, and you always lose. It's called...


The Comparison Game

I was having tea recently with a dear friend of mine, and we were both lamenting on how much we both hate the Comparison Game. The ironic thing is, we're both doing pretty darn well! She's got a full-time job ahead of her and lots of shows booked, and I have a full-time acting/teaching job beginning soon that'll keep me busy for the next 12 months. But we both admitted to playing The Comparison Game from time to time.

You can play The Comparison Game with anyone! I play it with my fellow recent USC grads, current students who seem to be taking way more interesting classes than I ever did, peers who've moved back to the Bay Area with me and are attacking the local theater scene with gusto... Anyone is eligible. All they need is to be doing something and talking about it. Or doing something and having other people talk about it. You know what they say... the theater is a small place. People talk. 


I think Facebook is partially to blame. Because although it's made it much easier for me to keep in touch with friends (half my social life is planned, thanks to the book of faces), it also makes it easy to "keep track" of other peers. I probably wasted at least an hour yesterday playing The Comparison Game. And I truly do mean wasted. Because I gained nothing out of it, except jealousy and slightly lower self-esteem. And Facebook is killer, because the people I play The Comparison Game to only post the good stuff - show photos, social outings, upcoming events... I'm guilty, I do it too! And it's great when you post the good stuff to celebrate it. When you post the good stuff to brag and show how much you're winning The Comparison Game, it's just annoying.


That's why I have to remind myself how lucky I am, to have the opportunities I've got and to have such a wonderful support system of family and friends who want the best for me. In fact, I was at Hairspray* the other day and talking to one of the cast members. I was telling him how fantastic he is (and he is, the whole show is great!!), and he insisted that it wasn't him... He was just blessed. And while I like to use different terminology, I definitely had to agree. All us actor-folk are lucky, with every opportunity we get. We have the chance to do something that brings so much joy and fulfillment... So few people get to do that, or even know how to do that. 


So today, while lamenting our shared playing of The Comparison Game, I had to remind myself how lucky I am... and that all people take different paths. In the theater world, it's not just about talent or work ethic. Some factors, like how your voice sounds or how long you've been auditioning or simply the fact that you look like you're twelve, are important. But so is dumb luck. 

Well, maybe not dumb luck... I think you have to make your own luck. That's been my goal as of late - making sure I do the right things that will open up doors later. But ultimately, our abilities to create luck (and work hard and be talented and look appropriate, etc) are what'll get us where we want to be. We all have our own paths - you hear that phrase so much when you graduate college that it gets seriously cliched, but it's true! This year alone I've met so many people doing so many things, and every person's gotten there in a different way. At Cal Shakes, people came from so many different backgrounds. My fellow actors in All Shook Up all had very different journeys, but were acting from a deep love of the theater. My friend from lunch today had gotten some auditions, didn't get others, but ultimately is extremely excited about where she's headed. 


And me? I'm stunned at how well things seem to be going. Not even a year ago, I was absolutely petrified about life post-graduation. I didn't know where I wanted to live, what I wanted to do, or how I was going to do it. But I forcefully dumb-lucked myself into a fantastic internship at Cal Shakes, where I learned a ton. From there I dumb-lucked myself into another (paid!) learning opportunity at another major theater company. And in the meantime I kept myself in the loop of local theater/educationy things, so that I eventually dumb-lucked myself into the job I'm beginning next month. And lots of auditions, which lead to a number of shows/readings/gigs. 

If I were trying to be schmaltzy and give a moral to this blog post, it would be this: you just gotta go with the flow and see where life takes you... But make sure to keep active, meeting people and working hard, so maybe you'll dumb-luck yourself into your next adventure.


But I'm not. So instead, I say this: don't play The Comparison Game. Even when you're winning (I feel like a winner in my own book!!), you'll still lose. Just focus on yourself and making things happen for you. And have fun! And be nice. And work hard. And maybe you'll dumb-luck yourself into something amazing, so that you'll be the winner in someone else's Comparison Game.**




*This is not me being braggy... But if you don't know, I'm working as a pit singer for Broadway By the Bay's Hairspray. Another fun opportunity that I dumb-lucked into!
**.... darn.... I ended up being schmaltzy after all.

Theater Community is Small

Today I had a lunch date with one of my favorite people after her rehearsal :). I was driving over to meet her when she texted me, letting me know that some of her castmates were going to join us. No problemo, except that I was slightly nervous about grabbing lunch with my one friend and a whole bunch of people I don't know.

I mean, getting to know new people! Yay! (I guess.)

Except I get there and see the five people there. My friend, obviously. A friend who I did theater with in high school. A girl who I've seen on auditions. And two others, both who turned out to be wonderful people!

Moral of the story: theater community is small. (No duh Katherine.)

2011 In Review

I don't tend to be terribly superstitious, but there are some things that I always do. I always say Break a Leg. Never say MacB's full name in a show. And I have this thing about odd-numbered years vs. even-numbered years. For some reason - maybe it's fate or maybe it's just by chance - odd-numbered years tend to go fairly well, while things go less well in even-numbered years. For example, in past even-numbered years, I've had family members pass away or major breakups, which, in a word, just sucked. By contrast, in many odd-numbered years I've gone on amazing trips or had great learning experiences.

2011 was an odd-numbered year, so for the most part it was pretty awesome. Here's a few highlights of the year...

• Graduated from college. Some might say this is good, others say it's not-so-good, but I say it was pretty exciting.
• Left college and went straight into an amazing internship at Cal Shakes, where I learned a lot. I felt like a major part of the theater company, was involved in making some amazing educational work happen, and met a lot of great people. I also started to learn what it means to be an adult - not just in responsibility, since I'd say I'm a fairly responsible, hard-working person in general - but in my relationships with other adults. Since I'm no longer merely a student, I shouldn't feel inferior to others based solely on age. Does that make sense? Basically, I'm learning it's OK to have friends who are adults. It's kind of a new concept for me.
• Went on an epic family trip to Europe. Spent a lot of time with the family, saw some beautiful cities, ate some delicious food, and had a wonderful time.
• Started auditioning a lot, and was fairly successful fairly quickly! I did a cabaret of new musical theater in San Francisco, which was a definite learning experience (not as hectic as Spider Baby was, but still a crazy adventure). I had to learn material quickly and on my own, but it was fun to be back onstage again. I auditioned a bunch for local musicals and actually got to turn some projects down. That was definitely a new experience for me, especially coming from USC, where I was frustrated at the lack of stage-time I was getting. But of the first 6 auditions, I was cast/called back/creating a new, good relationship for 5 of them. I think that's a pretty good place to be, 5 months out of college.
• Got a leading role at a local theater company, whose work I really respect! We have yet to start rehearsals, but come January, I'll be back in full-time rehearsal mode, which I miss. I haven't been in a show that rehearses regularly (as in, more than twice a week) for probably three years. Plus, my part's an awesome one: I'll be playing Natalie/Ed in Foothill Music Theatre's production of All Shook Up. It's a character! With motivations! And some really fun music!
• Laughed a lot. Fell back in love with reading. Started a significant workout routine and started working on general health and fitness.

 Here's hoping that 2012 breaks the curse of the crummy even-numbered years. It's going to get off on a good foot: got All Shook Up, teaching some classes with PYT, and will be taking a Voice/Speech class at ACT in San Francisco that I'm absolutely thrilled about.

Here's what else I hope will come my way in 2012:

• Find a day job that I enjoy and that doesn't murder me in the process
• Strengthen ties with my friends, and develop a greater social circle in the area
• Continue to work as an actor and musician
• Complete my goals for my health and fitness - maybe move on to some new goals, and curtail that never-ending sweet tooth in the process!
• Stay close with the people I love

To all you bloggy readers out there, I hope you enjoy the rest of the holidays, and hope that the curse of the even-numbered years passes you by! Here's to a fantastic 2012!